College, Lifestyle

How To Scare A College Student 101

Halloween, rather Halloweekend, on college campuses is probably the next best weekend after Homecoming.  If you ask anyone what they’re dressing up as for all three nights, they will give you a list of five options that they can’t decide on.  Instead of trying to be the scariest, we try to be the other ‘s’ word instead.  Basically we don’t dress for the 45- degree weather outside, we dress for the temperature of the frat basement.

One of the best parts of Halloween season is also the bags of candy family sends in a care package because unfortunately, there’s no trick- or- treating here. In this package, thinks are wrapped in paper with “BOO” written on it and basically that’s as scared as we ever want to be by them.  And we know that we better be on our toes during the phone call the family gets to thank them because there’s nothing more frightening than hearing the uncertainty in their voices while saying and asking each of these ten questions and statements…

1. What’s your highest grade?

A: To you, it could possibly sound like it should be my lowest grade so, I don’t know.

2. How great you think it is that the semester is almost over?

A: Well, I need more time to pull everything together so you might not have a daughter by then.

3. How did the biology test go?

A: I got an A on my English paper last week.

4. Do you know what you want to do after college?

A: Still trying to figure out what I’m going to do after this phone call.

5. You only have two years left until graduation!

A: How do you feel about me going through it all again?

6. How many classes have you skipped this semester?

A: If they don’t take attendance, they don’t care about me being there which means they don’t care about me and you always told me not to see someone that doesn’t care about me.

7. How much money is in your bank account?

A: It’s usually safer not to check.

8. How well are you balancing your social life, classes, finances and sleep?

A: My definition of balance has changed.  Now it’s just how well are you trying to survive.  And the answer to that is not very well.

9. What do you usually eat and do at the gym?

A: I’m skinny because I’m stressed and have no food other than cheerios.

10. Do you know where you want to live next year?

A: Anywhere but home, I can tell you that.