Wednesday before finals and I’m writing to you from my bed with a pint of chocolate brownie fudge in my lap urging myself to not turn on my television to watch Private Practice on Netflix all while scolding myself for not following my initial plan of going to the library at 3:30… It’s now 6:30.  It’s 6:30 and the Wednesday before finals and I have done no work for the thousand things that have to get done.  I woke up with my list, a plan and the image of allowing myself a second Starbucks drink pushing me through my four classes.  But, after my last class at 3, I went home and decided I could do it all from my apartment… I’m thinking it might be a good idea to give my dad a picture of the two of us before my grades so that he remembers how much he loves me.


If you think today was unsuccessful, here’s every other thought going through my head as told by FRIENDS.


“Isn’t that just kick- you- in- the- crotch- spit- on- your- neck- fantastic?”

And by “that” I mean that all of my teachers picked the same due date.

“I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work, and/or are sick.”

So let’s just cancel exams.

“I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.”

Ice cream solves all problems until you reach the bottom of the bowl.

“I just shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions anymore!”

I need to be dragged to the library.

“When I die, some people are going to get seriously haunted.”

Lookin at you, professor.

“It’s so exhausting, waiting for death.”

End it, end it now.

“You didn’t just sit on my kit- kats, did you?”

Because a situation I didn’t think could get any worse, aka my life, might just have.


Pass the bottle pretty please.


Wondering where I’ll be instead of facing my work?  Searching for the Chamber of Secrets.  Because even though I’ll have to kill a giant ass worm with a tooth, President Greg Weisenstein, aka Dumbledore, will have to cancel exams.

If I drop out I can still be in Phi Sig, right?